Roanoke, Virginia TOP STORY: BILL WHITE ANNOUNCES PLANS TO UNDER GO PENIS ENGLARGEMENT SURGERY. In a press release today, ANUS WIPE COMMANDER, Bill White announced his decision to have his weewee surgically extended. "I'm tired of being a laughing stock!" commented Bill White. "It's a terrible thing to go into a public restroom and to look over at the other guy and always find he is at least twice your size. It's been short my whole miserable life and now, by god I am going to do something about it. Bill White will no longer have a short little Willie!" Mr. Schultz's take on the whole affair: "I told you the fucker was a pecker checker!!!"
Bill went on to tell the Fox and Nimbuster News Services, "My Shrink says that the small size of my johnson is the reason for my anger toward minorities and the whole world at in general. From Luke to Isis everyone has been laughing at me. Maybe after the surgery I can start feeling good about myself. Then You won't have "little Billy" to kick around anymore!"
